The Moment I Said “I Am a Healer”

When Dreams Become Spoken Truth

For as long as I can remember I have dabbled with the idea of myself as a healer. But despite having had magical, mystical experiences my whole life, it took 48 years to utter the words, “I am a healer,” out loud to myself. All shifts within start from a single thought, yet only in speaking our wishes and dreams out loud does a pivotal part of the manifesting process truly unfold.

When I was 12 years old my mom worked as a housekeeper. In the summer we’d live in her boss’ summer home in East Hampton, NY. We were 5 minutes from the beach, and on hot days, if I was not helping my mom at her job, I would hike up and down the beach and collect seaweed, among other beach items. I’d bring the long sandy strands of seaweed home, rinse them, place them in the blender with some random beauty products and make myself masks, hair products, and healing balms. I had no real idea what I was doing, but I had a strong inner guidance which led me. Though no one ever sat me down and told me, I viscerally knew deep inside that nature held some secrets and all we had to do was tune in somehow.

At 14, I fell hopelessly in love with a gorgeous young man, but from afar. I was too shy, and he saw me like a little sister. I would write him love notes and poems and would bury them in the ground under my favorite tree. I loved trees, and this one held all my hopes and dreams. I’d spend summers daydreaming and dabbling in my imagination. Once again, nature provided a nurturing, trusting space to grow and just be.

At 15, while living in an increasingly dysfunctional situation at home, daily running became my escape from reality. I’d run about 6 miles a day no matter the weather. In fact, rainy-day runs were my absolute favorite. In my mind I’d envision the torrential rain, mixed with the booming thunder and ripping lightning across the sky, as a deep spiritual cleansing tool helping to rid me of the growing sensations of feeling dirty and wrong. At that point in my life, I’d been enduring sexual abuse for years and had never told a soul. The guilt, the shame, the feeling of being wrong, combined with the normal intensity of puberty had me locked in a thought pattern of worthlessness. I clung to my runs like my life depended on them. Looking back, I feel running in nature saved me on so many levels.

Despite the ugliness of my own personal real world, my inner life was radiant, brimming with beauty and imaginative adventures, and those experiences kept me excited about life. My early spiritual life was filled with magic and experiences full of wonder. Sometimes these wondrous experiences would even happen in my dreams. I’d explore whole cities while asleep. Some days I’d pop into a dream fully knowing where I was and where to go, as if I had been there many, many times before.

Then came the day I heard a story about my grandmother’s healing abilities, and the shift began. When I heard the story, my grandma had already passed maybe 3 years back. Amongst her many grandchildren, I was one she barely knew. The one time I did spend some time with her was right before she passed. She was lying in bed, woke up and slowly turned toward me asking about my spiritual beliefs. I fought back how intimidated she made me feel and quietly answered that I was a Buddhist. Without skipping a beat she scoffed dismissively. She was from a generation where if you didn’t live the way they wanted you to live, they took it as a personal assault. She was 98 and a devout Jehovah’s Witness at the time. I was not going to argue with her. That was the extent of my relationship with her until one day I heard about another side of her I knew nothing about and everything changed.

Candido, my mom’s youngest of 8 siblings, adored his mother and was telling me all about her one morning over coffee. Though it had been a few years since her passing, he was very much still grieving his mother, so it helped him to tell and retell stories about her, and I was genuinely interested to know more about my family’s past. He recalled a time, many decades back in Paraguay, when he and his brother ran home and reported to my grandma having seen an injured horse with a deep cut on its throat so severe that maggots were crawling all over its neck. They reported the horse was looking very weak due to the injury. My uncle then shared how my grandma immediately commanded them both to run out and get 5–6 different plants or weeds from their yard and bring them back to her. Once in her possession, she wrapped the plant bundle with a string, said a few words out loud, and hung the weeds in the doorway. Not many days later my uncles saw the horse again and its injury was completely healed. This, I was told, was very common. She apparently was able to heal people and animals in much the same way. My mind was blown.

As I shared before, my grandmother was a devout Jehovah’s Witness for decades until she passed. How did she go from remote healing animals using local plants to a spiritual orientation almost at the complete opposite end of the spectrum? There was no one her age alive to ask and reveal how this change took place. Therefore, in my imagination I gave myself permission to intuit the reason behind the shift. What I came up with as the reason for this drastic shift was fear. Whether my assessment of what drove the change was true or not did not matter. In my mind, my assessment of what caused the shift made perfect sense. She allowed fear to enter her heart. At some point she must have become scared of her own abilities. In those days, in the middle of deeply religious South America in the 1940s, for a woman to possess that kind of healing ability could only mean one thing: possession by some negative or evil entity! I firmly believe what drove my grandma to walk away from her healing powers was the societal fear rampant at that time and place.

The story of my grandma being a self-taught, naturally gifted healer brought everything full circle for me. It did not matter that in life we did not connect in any meaningful way; the ripples of that one fact alone had a way of connecting all those seemingly disconnected magical, mystical events in my own past. They now mattered in a much more colorful way. After this realization I started calling myself a healer—first in my thoughts, then out loud to myself, and last, out loud to others. You might ask, why does speaking the actual words out loud matter at all? Isn’t it enough to think the thoughts in our heads? I strongly pose that it’s not important to speak the words out loud necessarily so that others may hear, but that we must speak words of truth out loud so that every cell in our body hears and responds. The act of giving voice to our big dreams sets off a domino effect of sorts and allows the Universe to make space for these dreams in the deepest recesses of our imaginations and begin working to line up all the guides, ancestors, and angels to help make them possible. Also, in engaging our imagination muscle we ignite all our senses. Though changes may be subtle, they are in fact monumental. Once uttered out loud, a dream sets a course for a whole new trajectory. Something in me flicked on forever the instant I spoke the words out loud. If you feel doubtful of this process, I invite you to try this small but powerful exercise yourself. Choose a label you have been debating calling yourself. It might be something like “lightworker,” or it might be the label “intuitive,” or “medium,” or “empathic,” or something similar. At first, one might even feel like an impostor labeling yourself “that” thing which so long quietly lingered in the shadows. That is okay. Set those thoughts aside for the present moment. Whatever the words are of which you’re hesitant to speak out loud, I urge you to “try it on.” Try on the words and notice how you feel. Pay close attention. While the inner shift might be super quiet and subtle, it does change one in a very fundamental way.

Inner change always takes this same exact route. It begins with the seed of the imagination and there it stays in our hearts until we begin feeding it first with vivid inner visualizations, then with actions, and last with audible words and labels. Our senses are tools given to us to assist us in shifting our own realities. Engaging our senses while imagining speeds up the process, and one day we are there at the precipice of uttering the words out loud to ourselves. That is the day it all shifts. What seeds of imagination do you have hidden in your heart waiting to be fed? Dare to dream big and water it by imagining this new reality with actions, and one day dare to voice who this new YOU is to yourself and be ready for a whole new level of adventures.

Miriam Cutelis is a heart-centered healer and intuitive. As a Cognomovement, Beyond Quantum Healing (BQH), and Level 2 Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) Practitioner—along with training in the Akashic Records—she blends spiritual wisdom, compassionate presence, and practical tools to help her clients clear trauma, gain clarity, and reconnect with their true essence. She also leads free monthly circles on mediumship, spiritual study, and energy work, fostering community and connection.

To learn more about Miriam Cutelis and her work, please visit www.Cutelisart.com. If you’re interested in learning BQH, take 10% off the course by entering the coupon code RadiantBeing10 at the following link: https://staging.quantumhealers.com/our-courses/