‘I want to make a cake!’ – a Kinesiology Session Story
What do you do for joy? I make cakes. It wasn’t an original idea of mine, but a borrowed one from a 4 year-old child who helped me out with a Kinesiology practice session. Here’s how it happened:
When I was getting my certification for Touch For Health Kinesiology, I had to complete a variety of case studies which included facilitating sessions for children. My husband’s friend happened to drop by when I was stressing over where to find children to practise on. My husband’s friend said, ‘Come over to my house. There are plenty there.’
The friend had 7 children but not all of them were agreeable to being test subjects for something they didn’t understand. I was glad that the friend didn’t just force the children to help me because that wouldn’t have worked well. Instead, he presented me with a young teenage girl who was curious enough and a 4-year-old little girl who seemed to want my company. I chose to work with the teenager first because I wasn’t sure how to communicate with the little one.
You see, the technical side of Touch For Health Kinesiology and any types of wellness modalities (that I know) are simple. All it takes is to learn it, ask many questions till you understand it, and then practise and practise. The hardest part I find is the chat before the technical parts, when we need to figure out what the clients want to achieve through the session.
Very often, clients know only what they don’t want and not what they want. Sometimes they are afraid to say out loud what they really want, thinking it is fantastical or wrong. Sometimes we also need to narrow down what the clients really want from what they say they want. For example, a client who wants to win the lottery, might end up with an intention for accepting themselves for wanting material wealth, feeling freedom, being open to receive, trusting all is well or for something completely unrelated to the initial wish. Sometimes we also need to help the client to see from a different perspective because the old perspective doesn’t support whatever they want to achieve.
I had a much easier time with the teenage girl than I thought. We had the session in the corner of a spacious living room while her parents and my husband were chatting away at the lounge suite. Instead of asking her what she would like to achieve through the session, I asked her what she would like if she were to be granted one wish. She raised her voice to make sure everyone in the room could hear, ‘iPhone. I want an iPhone.’
When I asked her why, she raised her voice some more and said with a challenging tone, ‘Everyone has one! I want to have one too, but my parents won’t buy me one!’ The parents smiled but didn’t respond.
‘What else would you like?’ I wasn’t sure what to do yet and I fished some more.
‘New clothes! And shoes! And a handbag! My friends have all these things that I don’t!’
‘What will happen when you have everything your friends have? How will you feel?’
She looked confused by my question. Suddenly, she put her head down and let her hair shield her face from her parents while tears rolling down. ‘I will be special. I will be special and beautiful like my friends! Everyone is special and beautiful except me!’ She whispered.
It was my turn to be confused as I looked at this beautiful girl in her very lovely and special traditional dress. We can be so blind to our own loveliness.
‘Wouldn’t it be good if you can feel special and beautiful right now, without any of these things?’
She hesitated and so I added, ‘It doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t have these things. It means that you can feel special and beautiful right away.’
We had a little discussion till she finally agreed to give it a go. Honestly, by then I was having doubts myself whether this would work. I was still brand new in this.
Finally, we started the technical bit which was like summer breeze by comparison. From time to time, the little girl came for some company. I noticed that she would go from sibling to sibling who all shooed her away like they were waiters at a Greek fish tavern and the little girl a stray cat. Her parents let her stay with them, but she never stayed there long – the parents were too boring and not fun like her siblings I guess.
At the end of the Kinesiology balance, I asked the teenage girl to read out her goal – I feel special and beautiful – and tell me how she felt.
‘I feel good.’ She smiled. She glanced at her parents and continued cheekily, ‘But I will still try and get an iPhone.’
I was surprised at her quick transformation. I had heard that children are very responsive to these types of sessions. It seemed to be true.
I didn’t have to call for the little one because she was right by my side, checking out my book.
‘Hello, love! It’s your turn now!’
‘Can we make a cake now?’ The little girl asked.
‘No. We are going to do this.’ I pointed at the book.
‘Can we make a cake later?’
‘Let’s do this first, and we will see.’ I copied the grownups who give non-committal answers.
‘So… if you can make a wish, any wish at all, and it will come true right away, what would you like?’
‘I want to make a cake!’
‘A cake?’
‘Yes! I want to make a cake!’
‘Anything else?’
‘Hm…’
Hm…
‘You want a cake?’
‘I want to make a cake!’
I didn’t know a 4-year-old can make a cake.
‘How do you feel when you are making a cake?’ I wondered if she understood my question when she didn’t answer.
But she did respond, and she did understand. She started swaying side by side, smiling brighter and brighter. I copied her movement and her smile. Joy?
‘Is this how you feel when you are making a cake?’
She nodded her head while swaying and smiling some more.
‘Joy? Is this how you feel?’
‘Hm…’
Perhaps she didn’t know the word ‘joy’. Perhaps the word was too small to contain how she felt.
I swayed and smiled with her some more. ‘This is nice. Do you want to feel like this all the time’
‘Yes!’
‘Great!’ I was supposed to write down a goal statement on my notes. I wrote down ‘swaying and smiling’ and put a detailed note on our chat when I was home.
It wasn’t easy to get her to settle down for me to work on her initially. She had so much unspent energy. As the balance continued, however, she became calmer. Towards the end, she became quiet but smiley.
I asked her how she felt. She said, ‘Happy.’ I swayed and smiled and asked her if she felt like that. She swayed and smiled, looking even happier.
‘We make a cake now?’ She asked.
‘I won’t make a cake with you, but you can ask your mother.’ I turned into a Greek waiter. (I have not seen Greek waitress shooing cats away.)
She went to her mother who said ‘no’. Instead of doing another round of seeking her siblings’ company, she found a colouring book and started playing with her colour pencils. She seemed to have become self-contained. it worked! It worked! I wasn’t sure how the session could help her and the result was unexpected.
The next day, I made a cake. My husband and I were living in London, England, then. I had no friends there, no sibling shooing me away, and no boring parents letting me stay. I wanted to sway and smile too. So, I copied the little girl’s way, and started making cakes and non-cake cakes.
We’ve moved to Greece now and I continue to make cakes and non-cake cakes whenever I want to sway and smile. Here, I cannot communicate with my new friends and neighbours due to language barriers but everyone sways and smiles with me when I present them something sweet, totally unnecessary, unhealthy and very satisfying.
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Stephanie Shek lives on a Greek island with her husband, dog and cat. She loves her healing job and she loves sharing what she learnt through videos, blog article and newsletters. She has a lot more to say, but she would stop here now because she is very creeped out from writing about herself in the third person.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheLovingEnergy
https://thelovingenergy.com/blog/
https://newsletter.thelovingenergy.com/
My website: https://thelovingenergy.com/
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Image shows a Pavlova. It was delicious.
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